03 Aug Lonely Friday Nights
‘On lonely Friday nights,
It’s only easy to find me if you know where to look
I’m closed off, like the things I left out of my book
And my heart’s been broken but it’s not the only thing that she took
My ability to see only the beautiful,
Is distressing now, as all I hear is ridicule
I know now I only have so many pieces of my soul and i must be wary of who I give them too.
As we stand face to face,
I can feel distance between us,
Represented by a familiar resentment of myself
No matter how much you try to apologise, you can’t help.
You gave up that right when on a lonely Friday night,
You decided it’d be a good day for love to die
You’ve convinced yourself that you are justified in your actions but your body moves in a way that opposes the things you say.
‘Don’t touch me.
Don’t hold me ever again’
She whispers lovingly with her arms around my neck
I’m not desperate, I’m self possessive
If I can’t hold you again, I’d at least like to know the boy who’s no longer present.
You’ve left him defenceless and now he’s sat on the fence watching the burning of all his bridges.
She says she cares,
That she’s ‘willing to be there for me’
But the pain I feel when I see you is one that aches so terribly and each time you hold me closer it feels like it’s therapy.
It’s an airing of my grievances,
You dared me to be
The strongest version of myself but now I step so sparingly
I show boat when I tip toe, my laugh is no longer sharp
And once again, I’m devilish, holy, lonesome in dark.
I don’t wish to beckon response or insight, just a depiction of a friction on a lonely Friday night.
it’s all good,
I’m just another one who’s misunderstood.